It has been a while since I have written a wordy post. Actually it has been a while since I have actually posted regularly. But I guess today will be the beginning of me shedding another layer of myself infront of you all in hopes that it will help someone else struggling out there. I have recently heard a lot about the dislike of social media platform of how people only post when they are at their best. What about their struggles and failures? Bloggers are especially under scrutiny for this and sometimes it is hard to even show grief or struggle because everyone looks upto them for inspiration or words of advice. Somehow us bloggers become icons of positivity and are expected to know the key to happiness. But if you look closely we struggle too, away from the camera snapping another outfit picture or recording yet another tutorial/review are when the smiles disappears and the pain becomes apparent.
If you go through my last few posts you will see the same old smiling me, the makeup, the outfits – like nothing has changed but once the camera is put away is when I put my wrist braces back on as I battle carpel tunnel and work towards healing a foot sprain, which by now has turned into a stress fracture and I lug around a heavy boot. You wouldn’t know that I went through a painful bout of kidney infection earlier this year or that 2015 has just been a year of sickness and injuries. I have learnt to laugh the loudest when among friends and coworkers, crack jokes. Someone who swore by wearing no makeup to work now has a perfect face on everyday. I feel awkward when EVERYONE just stares or sympathizes with all my injuries as I slowly make my way to work. I go through dresses after dresses trying to find something that fits like it used to, days of just sitting on the couch being unable to walk has definitely helped me put on some weight. To everyone else’s eyes I am still tiny or the perfect size, but my growing body and tighter clothes tell me otherwise. I have had my worst moments when no one is home, when I have felt complete despair and I have sobbed like there is no end but I have somehow continued to keep a straight face around everyone even family. If you ask me how I am doing? I’d laugh and say something funny, I have given myself nick names such as a transformer robot and I tell everyone how well I am healing. But deep down inside there is deep rooted depression, impatience and desperation to get back where I was. It all comes out and surrounds me when no one is around.
What we see on TV, media and social media isn’t real – What’s real is everyone struggles internally in some sort of way. They might not talk about their failures or losses or grief. Heck talking about depression and anxiety is such a taboo topic. We crucify people who shows signs of upset on social media. We are all chasing this image of the perfect instagram/twitter/facebook personality but in reality there is none of us are perfect or having a joyous moment 24/7 and 365 days a year.
If you are someone who has a struggle just know there are others all around you, who fear sharing it. Who are quietly fighting their own. I wish we all just understood that falling off the wagon or grieving isn’t embarrassing. That if you aren’t the soldier or the trooper you have been all your life, it is not the end of the world. That you will rise up again one day and come back even harder. What should you do at moments like this? You should sit there and think about all the other times you fell, and how it shaped your life and how it made you stronger. Think about all the blessings that you still have or had previously. Think about the kindness of strangers or something nice someone said despite how much of a mess you looked like. And if you want to cry..do it…it doesn’t make you weak.
When you are done crying, wipe your face and tell yourself you are strong. Whatever it is a breakup, a broken arm, a lost job or even depression – it shall pass like everything else you have gone through. Cherish yourself as a person and think about all your past accomplishments. Pat yourself on the back for getting so far in life. Write down names of everyone that loves you, if you have forgotten or feel lonely. After all this is done know you will fall apart again today or tomorrow or next week. It will be a cycle to your healing. And once you have healed you will know next time this will not break you like it did the first time, that next time you will know exactly what to do. You can call yourself a pro! you can tell yourself you been there and done that or you can fall apart again. Because at the end of the day the right way to fight the struggle and grief is to not question it but let it run its course and grow stronger from it.
This post is going to be a big one only because I have a lot to say about she inside or well now shein.com I have been looking at Sheinside for a very long time maybe over a year and a half now. I was skeptical about the whole process of ordering from China. And then there were the horror stories circulating all over the web, when you look up their reviews. I finally caved in and decided to order! I ordered 3 dresses which believe it or not arrived in 5 days minus one which ran out of stock. Yes I understand that hiccups happen. Some other big brands have ran out of stock on me before so hey…it happens to all of them. They were nice enough to ask me if I’d like my money returned or if I’d like to exchange for something else. I took my sweet time and finally picked this beautiful butterfly dress pictured below. There was a price difference…and they were sweet enough to write it off! Needless to say they are my new fave online shopping destination and with the prices who wouldn’t shop there?
I wore this dress out and about in Old Towne area of Alexandria. The town has a quiet and beautiful feel. Tons of small business stores, yummy restaurants and bars and a waterfront. I go there with my husband a lot when I need to clear my hand and just relax. The weather has been off lately and it has been pouring a lot. So we always have to be prepped with umbrellas or run for shelter in a restaurant. Please don’t mind my hair if it appears too poufy, it was all thanks to the humidity and rain that day.
By the way dress is very unique. It has layer of satin with butterflies on it and then the top layer is organza which has the same butterfly print. As you move, the butterflies come to life! In almost a 3d fashion! I love love love this dress!
Let me know what you think and if you have ever shopped at Shein.com (PS THIS IS NOT A PAID POST AT ALL! I AM JUST REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS STORE :) )
Dress: She inside
Shoes: Bernie Mev
Bag: The Limited
I know I have had a long break but I can explain and I might need a few posts to catch you all up. But to summarize. I have officially moved out of Maryland and into VA (bordering DC) as of February. Somehow my hope of having more time with less commute to work turned rough and I first ended up getting severely sick for about a month and a half and then ended up with carpel tunnel, sprained ankle, a hurt knee and a hurt elbow…haha it wasn’t fun. It was pretty depressing but I am mostly fixed. I am currently thriving in hand splints that I have to wear all day but I can take them off if I am planning to relax and not use my hands. Another 6 weeks of physical therapy should have me all fixed…phew! But here I am finally..stronger than you guys last remembered me! haha
Soooooooo I have missed each and ever one of you. For those of you who reached out to me thank you for checking on me and I tried to respond the best I could with messed up hands.
Okay lets dive into my 4th of July! Weather here in DC/VA has been pretty erratic! It has been randomly pouring like cats and dogs when it isn’t even forecasted but we knew Saturday was going to be wet and humid. After a back and forth discussion we decided to go out. We had just gotten to the National Mall when it started to rain. We took refuge in one of the galleries where my husband spent time taking pictures. Photographers find beauty in everything. Since it continued to pour we decided to head to our fave Happy Hour at Las Tasca. By the time we got out the clouds had parted. I did meet some cool people that day at the Happy Hour as well as when we sat down at National Mall waiting for the fireworks. You get to meet tons of cool out of towners on days like these.
I wore ofcourse a red white and blue outfit. Since it was hot wet and humid, I kept my outfit flowy and cool. The top is actually a hi low top. The front is the length of the regular tank top but the back goes all the way down to your knees. I decided to roll it up and tie it in the back as a bow, to keep it airy. As you can see the humidity got to my hair pretty fast but oh well….we can do it all for being patriotic. Let me know how you spent your 4th of July and feel free to share links and images of your 4th of July outfit down below in the comments!
Lace Skirt: H&M
Multicolored Flats: Payless
Satchel Bag: The Limited
I have been super busy with work and I literally have had no time but to come home, eat dinner and on certain occasions squeeze in tiny amount of gym time before bed. I have been missing talking to you all so much. The more erratic my life has been the crazier I have been at shopping. Not only I have incorporated millions of dresses in my wardrobe which I used to lack badly last year, I also went on a shopping spree at H&M for work related pencil skirts. They have a major sale going on. After all this I still have quite a few items on my christmas wishlist that I am hoping someone else in the family will grab for me :) So lets begin the show and tell:
H&M Red Slit Dress
Guess Faux Fur Jacket
Mavy Savvy Mini Satchel
H&M Yellow Pleated skirt
Mavy Savvy Zippered Pencil Skirt
Mavy Savvy Jean Jacket
The weather was so lovely this weekend! I had walked out with a jacket thinking I would hide my beautiful dress in it all day but the moment we landed out of the car into the city, I felt like the coat needed to go. I am not going to take credit for buying this dress of my own accord. I bought the sibling of this dress in red lace and had completely ignored this one. My husband later found it and really wanted me to try it on. I think its something about the fabric. The soft silkiness of it. When I touched the material I was almost like I am in heaveeeenn. The moment I put the dress on the fitting room. I had to admit, I guess my husband knows how to dress a woman sometimes better than I do haha. Btw they brought a new print out in this dress for a really LOW price compared to the one I am wearing, same material and everything. Only thing is it doesnt work on my skin tone. I am sharing the link to that dress at the bottom of the page with info of my dress. Feel free to check that one out as well.
Oh and what is it that you see on my feet? A PAIR OF RIDING BOOTS!! Those of you that have stuck around with me from the early days of my blog know that I was living in medicated shoes, then progressed to dansko and last year started wearing flats with custom orthotics in them. I had been looking for a pair for boots for a whole year that would fit my orthotics and keep my feet from plunging back into pain. The want became a necessity with my work commute on public transport 3 hours each day. My flats were getting soaked with water and my orthotics were begging to fall apart. My mom pushed me to go Macys and look at their boots selection. She wanted to buy me a pair for my birthday. She knew if she wont force me, I’d keep stalling on this process. After several boots got stuck on my feet and wanting to give up hope…I found this perfect pair. Although my bday isn’t here yet..my mom wanted me to take these home with me as it has been chilly and rainy pretty often lately. The very next day it poured cats and dogs. As I got off the train and walked my 10 minute walk to my car. I called my mom like a 10 year old me would…all giddy and hyper, I wanted to thank her for these boots. She laughed but I kept trying to tell her how much this pair of boot means to me! It not only helps me stay warm and dry but it shows me progress. Progress from the person who I was 4 years ago sitting on the couch depressed and in pain, barely able to walk. I don’t know if I will ever be able to wear heels again like I used to but you know what? for right now…I am very content.
Dress: H&M (here and exact same dress in different print & lower price)
Boots: INC (Here)
Bag: The Limited
I have something new to share with you all today. I recently came across a fashion and clothing brand called Mavy Savvy (http://mavysavvy.com). Mavy Savvy is located out of Florida. The exact location of their boutique is Dora, Florida. I really wish there was one closer to me so I can personally visit them and experience all the greatness in person. So you are wondering what is so great about Mavy Savvy? Well let’s see imagine going to a party or even to the mall and there is someone standing right there in the same exact dress/top/bottoms as you! I mean I for one always smile at those girls and say “hey! we have great taste” but at the same time I also wish I had the opportunity to be able to buy unique pieces at an affordable price. Well that is where Mavy Savvy comes into the picture. The boutique only carries 4 pieces of each size per item so you can rest assured that only 3 other people in the world have the same items as you. And what are the odds that they will wear it the same days as you?
I have spent the last few days looking over the website and have picked my favorites already that I am planning to order. I mean they carry everything from clothes to jewelry and much much more. There is even an entire sale section for those of you who love getting even bigger price breaks. Items range anywhere between 5 bucks to 80 bucks but majority of items fall between the prices range of 10 to 25 dollars. And you all know how much I love good quality products at a reasonable price. Below are some of the items on my wish list that I will be ordering. Feel free to browse and let me know what are some of your fave items!
For those of you who are lucky enough and live in Florida they even take personal appointments to help you pick out outfits perfect for just your wardrobe.
This is my fave piece and I am looking forward to ordering it $69.00.Check it out here
This is a necklace that can make up any solid dress or denim shirt! $10.00 here
We have all seen skater dresses in stripes. I love how this one stands out with cold shoulders and its on SALE! $18.90 here
I know guys its not bikini season but look at this! I love every single bikini on their site! check them out here
This is sucha cute little messenger bag to have. Love it! $26 here
Let me know what you think guys!
I have spentt
Life is just getting busier and busier on my end. My work day is getting extensively long with several crazy work projects currently on my plate. I am hoping this job will really make me push the boundaries of having to make decisions. I like being the voice of reason as an IT person. I tell people their options what is good and bad…then suggest solutions. I don’t like to sign my name off on these decisions…but now? I have to. So I am learning to be a bit more comfortable with it. I am also launching my self improvement before my birthday this November. I have over time become so lost in the world and drifted so far away from the girl that I knew and used to like being. When some turmoil happens in the world, I used to get upset and cry…now? Now I get mad…it’s one thing to spread awareness, its another to feel angry. I’d rather cry and try to change the world than be mad and change the world. You don’t put negative in the world when trying to eliminate it …kind of sounds stupid.
So…this year, I am going to take myself back from where I came, be the nice polite girl I used to be. Change needs to be mental, emotional and ofcourse physical. I am trying to squeeze gym time in the 3 hours I get each night before bed, it is really tough because I can’t work out after eating and by the time I get home, I am starving. But when there is a will there is a way.
Now to the outfit. I saw this top online at H&M website as a part of their Studio Fall and Winter 2014 collection. It never arrived in my local stores by where I live unfortunately. But I was too scared to buy the top online. It oddly started at a size 6 and I am a size 2 or a 4 depending on what the material is. Lo and behold before I could even think, it was sold out in 2 hours! Well…womp womp womp. But the following weekend I was hanging out with Hubby and his bestfriend in DC…and decided to check out a store in DC. Wellllll there was this top staring at me in the face and one size 6 was smiling at me. I tried it on and somehow it fits! And fits beautifully. Soooo it came home with me. I was going to wait till November to wear it on my birthday with something flowy at the bottom but I know its going to be cold then. It is always harder to picture such items in winter cause you don’t want to die of pneumonia outside! Let me know what you guys think?
Top: H&M Studio AW 14
Pencil Skirt: H&M
Studded Flats: Kenneth Cole
Pearl Bangle: Gifted
Watch: G by Guess
I am officially working really hard to become the best me by my birthday this year. The best me I can be mentally and physically. As well as revert back to some of the good habits I used to have growing up. I will be talking a lot more about this in coming posts but with that said I will try to be the best blogger in the coming weeks as well. I still remember the time when I could do it all. When time and the length of my to do list didn’t matter. I took chores with a smile on my face and took pride in finishing them. I still remember friends asking how do I manage to hold 3 jobs and take 21 credits most semesters and now? sigh don’t even ask me what I am doing right now. I mean to some people I am still one of the busiest person around but I have known myself as a busier person and I’d like to be that busy cheerful person again.
Anyway enough of all this for now. Here is what I wore on Labor Day weekend. I seem to be enjoying DC a tad bit too much and keep getting drawn to it even on my days off. I have also gotten soooo used to just walking everywhere. Starting the new job I had this major fear of public transport and being stranded and now? I can just walk where I have to go instead, and then find back up options. Keeps one healthy and strong as well. Sooo we ended up in DC again and I took my hubby to Burger, Tap and shake, their burgers are delicious! And I will proclaim that they have the best onion rings I HAVE EVER HAD! The batter is delicious and the onions don’t get pulled out of the batter when you try to eat them. PERFECTION.
Anyway lately I have been on a streak of trying to find LONGER dresses and skirts and things that can be worn to work and still be cool and sexy enough to be worn out. This dress is a perfect example of such an outfit. It is floral but is neutral enough to be worn through out Fall and winter (like I care about that? I wear whatever colors I want through out the year because what works for you…should never be put away for next season). The dress is one of the million dresses I have bought that I am planning to shoot in a :work to night out” haul video. Unfortunately last time I was shooting my camera died midway so I have to finish recording the rest. Trust me I have been hard at work for you guys! The quality of the pictures got a bit pixelated because my hubby was trying out the new DSLR lens we bought. And they looked perfect on the small DSLR screen but when we pulled them up on the computer…I was thoroughly disappointed but the pictures from the next day with the right setting seems to have come out perfect which I would be posting soon as well. How was your labor day? and what did you wear?
Bag: The Limited (Similar in a different color)
Flats: Kenneth Cole
I have been helterskelter and all over the place lately butI haven’t forgotten you guys. I have some big stuff coming down the blog line in the next few weeks and months. But for now I really wanted to share this big news with all of my readers. I have been working with Glam St for a while and was elated to find out that I got selected as the Blogger of the week! I am currently featured on their front page and they made this special graphic for me to share with my social media audience. I love love love it! Please stop by check out Glamst.com and show support! It will mean alot to me. Once again Glam St is owned and operated by women in technology and is all about making women feel beautiful. You can literally try on famous makeup brands on your pictures (and they are very realistic looking) before you buy them!
Share your looks with me on here or my facebook page. I would love to see them!
It has been a long time since I last posted. But now that the news in common knowledge at my job. I can share with you guys as well. I am bidding farewell to my current job and starting a new position at another Higher Education institution at the heart of Washington D.C. The last couple of months have been draining and tiring just going through the process and getting everything properly lined up for my departure from my current institution. Now with that said, I will be in the heart of D.C quite often which means more fun stuff for me to share with you guys!
But for now let’s talk about healthy, long, shiny beautiful hair! I had mentioned this prior to you all and also on my youtube channel that I am planning to grow my hair long again. And I have on this journey found some amazing products. I was recently given the privilege to try out Arvazallia’s Argan Oil hair treatmeant and Hair mask. These products are amazing! My hair hasn’t looked this good in a long time and I have used it for only 2.5 to 3 weeks. Go on check out my youtube review and if you want gorgeous beautiful hair try these products out for yourself!
Arvazallia Hair oil treatment:http://www.arvazallia.com/premiumarganoilbbpromo
Arvazallia Hair mask: http://www.arvazallia.com/hydratingmaskbbpromo