I am not sure if everyone feels this way but I definitely have completely opposing styles which I switch back and forth between. One day I want to be sweet and innocent and next day I chose to be sophisticated and sleek.Then there are days where I just want to drone on leather and kick some behinds – not literally or..well maybe haha. But sometimes I wake up and go oooo I really want to mix one with the other and confuse people out there. That is exactly how this outfit got birthed.I wanted to wear lace but I didn’t want to be a sweetheart. I wanted to be mildly bad ass and that is exactly what I did with the cropped tap and my cropped leather jacket. Dont ever be afraid of mixing different styles, if mixed well they can be extremely well put together.
Anyway I was glad that it was a slightly chilly day and my leather jacket was a much needed garment. I have noticed as long as I cover my arms or my legs on a slightly chilly day, I can skate by without freezing to death. I have been diligently working out and I see some changes already in my legs but I am not done yet. I need to kick back the fitness posts up so I can explain how I achieved the results you are witnessing in these pictures. The day was spent forlicking around town, eating lunch with the hubby and running a few errands 🙂
Crop Top: Vans
Lace Skirt: H&M (currently in store)
Leather Jacket: H&M
First of all I am going to thank those of you who had contacted me privately via my facebook page in regards to writing more motivational posts, suggesting self help books to read and just talking about how my posts helped you motivate yourself to make the changes in your life. I can’t put in words how much I loved reading those messages so please keep them coming. Knowing I am helping someone somewhere keeps me going.
Now onto our fave topic of avoiding the negative nancies in our life and how to kick them to the curb, without the feeling of guilt lingering for days.I have just landed home from work and immediately hopped onto my laptop to write this post out, as I do not want to forget any piece of information that helped me CLICK my thoughts into place. I hope some of you can benefit from this as well, especially those who love to help people without expecting a reward back and then get really sad when someone instead of uttering two words of thanks decides to abuse your kindness. The problem also comes in because people like us are extremely outnumbered. Most people either are the negative nancies that love to bring other people down due to their own insecurities as well as those that just easily kick such people to the curb and move on. I so wish I could be like my husband who is the nicest and kindest human being until you cross him. No he won’t harm no body but he can just easily hit the eject button and delete people from his life. And then its all over. For me? I wonder if it is upsetting them? If they are hurt? who will they go to for help if they need something and hence I stick around taking the abuse.
Now I have had my fair share of hour long discussions. People trying to figure out why is that I like to be abused or suggesting that maybe I should change. But no one was able to provide me a good enough reason or how to go about discontinuing that belief that we should care for others irrespective of how they behave and becomingcold enough to just dump them when they act out. I think I finally found a solution. I received a truly remarkable comment from a childhood friend, a friend that I stuck by not because we had something in common but just because I wanted to help them while everyone else ignored them.Yes yes I understand the martyr attitude. It has been years since we have physically been on the same side of the planet but every time they felt down, I’d try to cheer them up. So getting something so wishy washy and mean was surprising. I wear my emotions on my face in the privacy of my cubicle at work but sometimes the cubicles are not so private and it leads to people asking whats wrong? My coworkers tried to provide some solace and immediately jumped to the conclusion of deleting the person off of facebook and cutting all ties. Now being who we are the saviors of the world- I think its quite petty. I can’t bring myself to drop someone from my life over such a miniscule issue. Which was quite astonishing to my workers. I couldn’t tell them that I find it quite cold hearted and I don’t aspire to be that person. I requested if they provide me a bridge so I can be on their side of the world and see how they see it but I was told that I need to figure it out on my own. We talked about the suicidal tendencies of the friend and their loneliness and I got asked why do I care? And the question ringed in my head which I didnt verbalize “WHY WOULDNT I CARE ABOUT HUMAN LIFE?” I understand me leaving their life wont immediately lead them to kill themselves but what if I am atleast one source of sunshine? Do I want to be responsible for the downturn of their life? The discussion ended like all others- no solution found.
But there is a reason I am married to my dear husband. Most of the changes in my life have come about due to his help. He has helped me become the super bright person I am today.Ofcourse as nothing evil goes unnoticed online my hubby saw the comment – which obviously I cared to not delete due to the fact that that would be mean (I know I sound crazy but how would you feel if someone deleted your comment?) And then while speaking to him he said something….something so great that the bridge I couldn’t cross suddenly disappeared! And I heard a loud CLICK in my head. He said “I don’t want you to change. Don’t let someone ever tell you something is wrong with you. Kindness is hard to find these days but use it as a reward why should it be free, if it is so rare?”
And with that one sentence I had a huge smile on my face. I knew I found my treasure, the reason I wanted to stop being kind to negative people. To stop them from abusing me and feeling the guilt if I cut the cord of our friendship. Kindness should be how we communicate with people. Kindness should be your name, your body and your behavior till it is returned. The moment kindness is not returned form the other side, it should not be given free.It should be a privilege. You either earn it or you loose it. Why should you give your time and kindness to someone who wouldn’t do the same for you. Well most of us in this dilemma are self sacrificial human beings and don’t care about how we get treated hence the abusive relationships. So to help change your thinking use this strategy instead – These evil people won’t treat others with kindness if they are being mean to you, someone who has done nothing but nice things for them. If they wont treat the world fairly then why should they get kindness for free? They revoke their rights of being treated as such. Well someone else can do that for them till they figure out as well that kindness is being wasted on them. As for me? I should just walk away. My husband also gave me a cute scenario. If you bake cup cakes and give them away for free and in return someone throws stones at you then do they have a right to complain when the free cupcakes are taken away?
Well then friends lets drop the shroud of guilt and kick those negative nancies and uncivilized people to the curb. I understand the hopeful dilemma that maybe they will change tomorrow and become nice. But you know what? they haven’t and you shouldn’t waste your kindness on someone that doesn’t deserve it. Use it on someone who will return your kindness to someone else and start a chain of kindness that can not be broken. Using weak links in your chain will always lead to heartache and broken chains. It doesn’t make you an evil person or cold hearted person, It makes to you a fair person and you know us self sacrificing human beings love being fair.
I have been enjoying summer like the world is about to come to an end. Last week I was out the entire weekend except when it was time to go to sleep and sleep only lasted about 4 to 5 hours a night. But I am thankful and glad I was able to spend some much needed time with close friends (when I say close I mean people I will die for) and family. I also got some much needed time with the boys aka hubby’s troop! I understand sometimes they get a bit much when all they want to do is sit and play video games non stop. Now don’t get me wrong I am actually down with playing video games but when I play with them, they take a bit too easy on me. Come on…just cause I am a girl doesn’t mean we can’t have a fair fight. Anyway all this brought back the gamer in me. I remembered the days when me and my older brother would spend hours playing video games as kids and teenagers. So I decided to invest in my own controller and a game that really interested me- injustice gods among us anyone?
Anyway now the outfit in the pictures. I have been meaning to wearing some neon for quite some time now. It is actually the trend of the year.I have to say, this outfit surprised me- I knew it looked good but I didn’t know it actually would picture this well. I wanted to tame the neon a bit because when we think wearing neon we think over the top, casual or beachy. But I thought pairing it with sheer lace peplum top and metallic belt gave it a very sophisticated and evening look. You can actually wear this look to family get togethers, dinner parties or even just a romantic dinner. Gosh you could even do night out with friends or what not. I have even considered wearing it to work! Well my job we do very formal outfits on special events days otherwise we can be business casual- where we will sometimes sporadically find coworkers leaning too close to casual on days they aren’t dealing with public but we never wear Jeans! -never!!!!
Hope everyone is doing well and let me know if you are planning to jump on the neon trend this summer?
Bottoms: G by Guess
Sheer Top: H&M
Shoes: Sigrid by Dansko
Tank Top: Rampage